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Because I read that last line— what am I afraid of? My parents live on the east coast, and I now live on the west coast, and when I go back home I find myself dressing differently, more conservatively, than I do in my real life. Dear Dave, The person who lives across the hall is hot as fuck. I don't want to shit where I eat, but wow. You've internalized their fear that you would grow up and stop needing them, and you're telling them with your clothes that you will always be their little boy. Two kinds of people watch reruns of Big Bang Theory : customers in waiting rooms at oil change places, and cretins.

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But that's not them thinking that.

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Use your conservative clothing budget to take your parents out to dinner. As was my practice at the time, I became close friends with the hottest one. Dear Dave, The person who lives across the hall is hot as fuck. Got a question about relationships, sex, family, culture, fashion, really anything other than math?

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